Art Slob

M O S S O N W O O D

2009-05-05T02:03:00.007-10:00

A-ha!

Art Slob has moved onward and upward to Seguin Township, Ontario.

My new blog is MOSSONWOOD.

C'mon over and bear witness to all of my sustainable forestry adventures in the northern wilds of Canada!

Bill

RIP

2008-08-23T21:25:00.003-10:00

I've decided to stop posting on Slob Art and Gallery Crawl.

Thank you for coming by now and then to say 'hi'.

I plan to start a new blog in the future and will let y'all know about it here.

Bye for now.

Bill

Gone Fishin'

2008-08-23T10:28:00.004-10:00

Was happy to nosh on some very fresh Lake Ontario salmon this afternoon, washing it down with some cold lager.

Many thanks to buddy Steve Tso for manning the rods while I was at the trolling wheel.

Doesn't get better than this.

PetMate

2008-08-13T16:02:00.004-10:00

Oh, I love this auto pet feeder...
FUTURE NOW!!!

Live/Work Art Studio

2008-07-06T04:43:00.005-10:00

I'm looking for a new pad a t the moment. Yesterday I went off with visions of a groovy live/work art studio place. It didn't quite work out like I hoped.

The first thing I noticed outside the purple/green/yellow building was the vomit on the sidewalk and about 30 stuffed garbage bags in various stages of decay along the wall. The place was infested with young punk rockers and a capped soda bottle rested on the stairs 3/4 full of urine.

The shared bathroom sink managed to hang from the wall despite the fact that it had been smashed in two. An aging note was taped to edge, 'Out of Order'. The formerly white plastic shower stall was in shades of gray and without a curtain.

The Willy Lowman landlord pushed through the carcass of punkers out front ('carcass' the herd name for punks) to show me the 'studio' for rent inside. One of the guys called out, "Don't kick out Frank' as if I was the landlord's enforcer.

The purple 'studio' had two doorways - without doors - a skylight and those crap 70's office drop ceiling panels half smashed to bits. "So this is it. Except we've gotta put a hallway down this back wall", said the landlord. "I don't trust those guys not to piss in my milk", I say. To which the landlord replies, "You get a bar fridge in your room", he replied. Not that they wouldn't piss in the milk if they had a chance.

I passed.

The Move: Update

2008-04-11T10:33:00.001-10:00

Just to let you know how the move is going....

Time Out

2008-03-16T12:04:00.002-10:00

I'm moving!

The new pad has no Internet connection, so posts will be few and far between for a while.

Alaskan Polar Bear Heater

2008-03-14T08:01:00.004-10:00

Winter blues got you down?

'Alaskan Polar Bear Heater' (This drinkie's for the old folks - sorry, kiddies)

2 shots of vodka
a little rum
some bitters
a smidgen of vinegar
a shot of vermouth
a shot of gin
a shot of scotch
a little brandy
a lemon peel
orange peel
cherry
some more scotch

mix nice

Bill's Ice Hotel

2008-03-14T05:15:00.004-10:00

As much as I enjoy the rustic charm of my artist's garret, it's time to move on.

Behold, my new swank digs. Many of our friends south of the border have never seen a typical Canadian snow chalet.

They're quite popular up here in the wintertime.

Pimp Hand

2008-03-11T02:01:00.005-10:00

Still from Jodorowsky's Holy Mountain

Came across the hilarious on-line Urban Dictionary.

Of the 15 definitions of 'Pimp Hand' on offer, I think this one covers it...

PIMP HAND

1. (n.) A sign of virility, strength or social efficacy. An informal measure of one's ability to mack, pimp, or generally to get play, action or get your freak on. Generally characterized as "strong" or "weak."
2. To "exercise one's pimp hand": to increase one's skill at short-term sexual interactions, or to demonstrate such.
3. One's ability to control one's bitches.
4. A back-handed slap, used to emphasize superiority, or a forthcoming need to choke a bitch.

1. Damn, son! Yo' ass picked up some *fine* bitches last night! Yo' pimp hand is strong!
2. You're losing your touch, man. Come out to the club tonight so we can exercise your pimp hand.
3. His strong pimp hand keeps his hos in line.
4. You gonna take that shit?! Introduce yo' pimp hand to that bitch ass motherfucker!

Gallery Crawl: Bring on the Paper Horses

2008-03-10T07:40:00.003-10:00

Here's the latest edition of Gallery Crawl served up both hot and cold.

Snowdown in Toronto

2008-03-09T19:10:00.002-10:00

Another fun round of snow dump in Hogtown this weekend.

I couldn't believe my eyes as I walked through the park.... Some nutty film students put a sofa and a couple of young actors in t-shirts outside to do a scene. The poor actress sat freezing as a wankjobpunk director pondered the camera placement.

Art!

An Artist's Life

2008-03-07T11:35:00.003-10:00

Ever wonder what an artist's garret looks like?

Well, the ceiling looks like this...

"The ceiling's falling!"

The Consolation of Old Age

2008-03-06T16:37:00.003-10:00

What do I look forward to in my Autumn years?

French New Wave movies I have yet to see.

InSite: Temporary Public Art

2008-03-04T07:46:00.003-10:00

Was thinking about doing some public art yesterday - paint doesn't dry too well below 10 Celsius - and came across an organization in Milwaukee called InSite (visit website here).

InSite acts as an artist/community g0-between to arrange the installation of temporary public art in the community.

Ah, heck, I'll let one of the founders explain it (see video here).

It's a great idea!

Gallery Crawl - Leap Day Edition

2008-03-03T10:05:00.003-10:00

Wandered out on a gallery crawl this cold February 29th in search of great art.

Here's what I found...

'Killer' Knut

2008-03-03T07:20:00.006-10:00

Came across a hilarious news headline from London's Daily Mail...

Still think I'm cute? One year on, cuddly Knut has turned into a 22st killing machine

Killer Knut

So the cute and cuddly 'Knut' polar bear at the Berlin Zoo is one year old and is doing what comes naturally. Guess we shouldn't feel too bad about the polar bears kicking the bucket as the polar cap recedes - all they want to do is chew on little kids.

Cute Knut

Gallery Crawl: Is it Sculpture?

2008-02-26T07:09:00.003-10:00

Howdy, folks!

C'mon over to this week's Gallery Crawl installment where I explore new Toronto art. This week, let me know if you think the artwork at the Diaz Gallery is sculpture or something much more sinister...

Tunes - 'Sex Bomb'

2008-02-17T15:54:00.002-10:00

These days I am into the Tom Jones version of Sex Bomb.

Painthand

2008-02-16T12:12:00.004-10:00

Bill's Painthand

Used the back of my hand to paint with this evening. Hey, if Turner can finger paint, I guess it's OK with The Academy.

'Onro' Painting: Start and Finish

2008-02-15T16:37:00.008-10:00

Start

Here's a quick snap of my first paint gestures on the canvas.

I like to get something down as it comes intuitively. Then, sit back and feel my way forward.

I'll post the finished painting when complete.

And here it is...

Finish ('Onro' Bill Pocock, 2008) 107 cm x 107 cm

Hard to believe the initial black on gesso brush strokes would lead to the finished white over gray 'Onro' painting. At various stages along the way, I made decisions which radically changed the image. My method seems to be building up a painting on ruins as if it were an ancient city. Each is related to the other and are interconnected.

The first thing I did was flip the 'start' canvas upside down.

The Handlebar (moustache) Club

2008-02-12T02:07:00.000-10:00

Came across this great men's club in London, England. The Handlebar Club.

The qualification for membership is:
"a hirsute appendage of the upper lip, with graspable extremities"
and, in addition, we specify that beards are not allowed.

Here's some of the members...

Gallery Crawl: Feb. 7 - 9, 2008

2008-02-10T11:35:00.000-10:00

Come smell the new Toronto art on this week's Gallery Crawl....

Art TV contests

2008-02-05T18:39:00.000-10:00

The TV producing gods are at it once again with a sort of art star search show idea. The latest incarnation is on the Project Runway model. Only instead of fashion designers, they would judge artists. Read about it here.

Here's some of my thoughts as I ranted to a close artist friend....

The whole idea is flawed because it would set tasks for an artist to fulfill. I agree with art critic Robert Hughes when he says the job of the critic is to express how one observer confronts a work of art. The critic is not in the position to pronounce certainty.

It's essentially an art school model where students are assigned tasks. Once an artist begins to 'wade into' his/her obsessions and create individual work, the artist can no longer be told what to do. The artist tells.

So, in a show that eliminates artists based on perceived critical value assessments of work done within specified criteria of time, and subject, and material, nothing is truly resolved. It comes down to how well an artist pleases judges.

To quote one producer...

" [Art is] something we consume every day... whether it's your favorite coffee mug, an ad in a magazine or a mural you drive by on the way to work."

Produce a painting in a week. What if your method takes a month, a year?

Every one has to make a sculpture. What if you're a performance artist?

Paint a landscape. What if you're only interested in the human form?

I think it's asking artists to jump through hoops like circus animals and is totally irrelevant to their own, very specific practice.

The analogy to fashion design is faulty. Fashion designers operate in a commercial trade demanding a wide variety of skill sets to satisfy industrial demand. Fashion design is creative craftwork - not art - in my view.

I offer Giacometti as an example. For me the absurdity - beyond exposure - of the TV project is clear when we consider how Giacometti would fare as a contestant. Giacometti created very specific, focused, intense works. Imagine dictating an assignment to this artist outside the realms of his specific obsession with the human form. Imagine demanding Giacometti make a conceptual art work. Ridiculous. To sit in judgment for approval? He would take a puff of smoke, maybe smile, and walk away. That's what I think.

Photo: 'Alberto Giacometti' by Henri-Cartier Bresson

Writer Needed

2008-02-05T07:34:00.000-10:00

I'm looking through Craigslist ads and came across this awesome advert...

I need a writer to write a short story about me driving in a lamborghini with the top down eating tons of food, with a hot naked girl. if you are interested, please send me a short sample of your writing. please write a couple paragraphs about me driving in a lamborghini with the top down eating tons of food with a naked girl. If i like what you send i will commission you to write the full piece. about ten to twenty pages. i will pay twenty dollars per page.

I love it.

Portrait of a Young Painting

2008-02-04T16:35:00.000-10:00

The evolution of a painting. Approximately eight days from start to finish.

I like it at this point, but I'm gonna take another
crack at it. Maybe I lose the painting, but I'll take
the chance. At least I'll have the picture....

I much prefer this one to the previous ones.
The other painting was lost, but as I look at the
photo, I don't care for it anymore. Let's get lost.

'Double Cross' Bill Pocock, 2008 (BP080207-114114)

G1313 Sandwich Board

2008-02-04T16:19:00.000-10:00

I joined the board of a local non-profit art gallery - Gallery 1313.

Here's one of my good deeds. I took an old sandwich board and refurbished it for a new gallery look and feel. At least on the sandwich board.

One thing I learned while painting it? A new respect for the fine craft of sign painting. Damn it hard especially with the toxic fumes and 10 cent brushes.

I'd like to say never again, but I'm too old for that.
.

Gallery Crawl: Feb. 1 - 2

2008-02-03T04:55:00.000-10:00

Ever want to see what a block of ice looks like on top of an organ keyboard? Check out this week in Toronto contemporary art at....www.gallerycrawl.ca
.

John's Hair

2008-01-29T20:00:00.000-10:00

I recently reconnected with a childhood friend, John. I only know what he looks like from his on-line photos. One thing I do know is that John has great hair and he wears it 1001 ways.

Here's two of his hair styles. One regular, one funked.

Regular.

Funked.

Gallery Crawl Jan. 24 - 25

2008-01-26T17:33:00.000-10:00

Just banged off the latest installment of Gallery Crawl. This is my on-going journey through Toronto's Contemporary Art World in all its gory.

PICK OF THE WEEK: 25th anniversary show at InterAccess.

And now you can see more of my ga-roovy paintings for sale on-line after the jump....

Oscar's Revenge - BP071221-202805

2008-01-23T12:22:00.001-10:00

Click to enlarge

I've started to digitally catalog some of my 2007 paintings. In addition to all the regular info I add some thoughts, ideas, fond memories or frustrations about the painting.

Read somewhere this was a good idea because people want to know what a 'real' artist thinks about all day long.

Because I'm special.

Nonist 080120

2008-01-22T08:48:00.000-10:00

Long Duration Exposure Facility (LDEF)

Blogger, the nonist, wants you to say hello to his little friend. It's an awesthetically pleasing former scientific satellite.

"...when it comes to certain items I have the tendency to objectify, to glaze over purpose and function and context and just splash about in the shallows of aesthetics."

See the full January 20th, 2008 post at the nonist (space and science tags).

Bravo, sir. Bravo.

wet, wet, wet

2008-01-21T19:52:00.000-10:00

I've been painting away like a happy little piggy in the mud.

Some people might want to barf, looking at this painting, but it's nice to remember it fresh.

'Sebastian's View' Bill Pocock, 2008

Premier Endorsed!

2008-01-18T06:35:00.000-10:00

Last night I went with an old buddy to The Albany Club - Toronto's ancient conservative party digs - and had drinkies with none other than Ontario's 22nd Premier, Mike Harris.

Imagine my surprise when the old man - nice guy, good speaker - took one look at me, admired my luxurious mane and exclaimed, "You should run!" That was good for a laugh.

I ordered another round and wondered where I should run to....

Making the Rounds

2008-01-14T18:41:00.000-10:00

Many thanks to Andrea Carson over at VOCA for pointing me to a nice article on why people collect art. One collector had a good line...

"Collecting is being there in the trenches every week," he says. "It's time-consuming but very gratifying when you go to hundreds of galleries and then finally, something stands out."

Only by seeing so many art shows - that your brain starts to melt - do you find the occasional artwork that stops you in your tracks. That's special.

I get the feeling that too many people decide they want some art for their home, go to a couple shows and find something that's the best of that small sample. It's gotta move ya baby!

Gallery Crawling Again!

2008-01-13T11:48:00.000-10:00

I'm back at the ol' gallery crawling game.

Wanna see pictures of all the groovy art openings happening in Toronto?

Step right up with that mouse and click on... www.gallerycrawl.ca.

Trance Music

2008-01-09T19:59:00.000-10:00

Sometimes I get in this groove where I listen to the same song over and over and over....for days.

It's sort of a trance that goes along with focusing and creating. What am I listening to now?

'Private Idaho' by the B-52s!

Watching Paint Dry

2008-01-05T17:38:00.000-10:00

Was sitting, watching paint dry on a canvas, and thought, "This is a nice way to spend time".

It's much more relaxing to put some paint on, step away and consider the result. Doing sculpture was much different as I constantly hacked and banged away at the thing, circling it like a beast. Sculpture has an infinite number of profiles, but paintings have only one.

Ad Reinhardt 'at work'

On-Line HDV Wow!

2008-01-03T14:37:00.000-10:00

I've seen the future of high-definition video on-line for regular slobs like me!

First you get one of these Canon HD 20 HDV camcorders ($1,000 CDN)...

Then you post it on Vimeo (YouTube for HDV). Then you get something like...(click here).

Krylon: Crystal Clear

2007-12-27T09:11:00.000-10:00

This episode of Art Slob is brought to you in part by Krylon Crystal Clear fixative spray.

I did some charcoal drawing on canvas and wanted to make sure the charcoal wouldn't smudge ever after. So, off I went to Woolfitt's art supply and grabbed the Crystal Clear spray. Did the spray outside - between snow falls - and it dried in a few minutes. Toxic fumes continue, so I'm leaving it outside to air out.

Threshold Experience

2007-12-24T09:05:00.000-10:00

Came across a Johann Wolfgang von Goethe quote which I like.

The threshold is the place of expectation.

That's true for all of my new experiences. Interesting that sacred Japanese thresholds are guarded by demons. Only for the brave.

Let's Go Surfin'

2007-12-23T11:01:00.000-10:00

Don't you wanna go?

Check out a short & fun tandem surfing video here.

Homestar Runner

2007-12-20T12:04:00.000-10:00

Recently checked out my fave on-line flash cartoon - Homestar Runner - and they still got it.

The Brothers Chaps can still kick out the whack cartoon comedy after seven years. The Strong Bad animated sb emails are beyond bizarre.

As a former deck builder, I highly recommend Homestar building a deck with no hands.

Management Guru

2007-12-19T09:38:00.000-10:00

Brand Me?

2007-12-13T13:25:00.000-10:00

I'm reading this Tom Peters book, "The Brand You". And...not sure if I want to nod at his sage wisdom, or laugh. It's all about being creative and dynamic in a dinosaur corporate world.

ALWAYS be on the lookout for Talent. Cool Dudes/Dudettes to Hang With...Conspire with...Learn From. Any time you come across any interesting Dudes/Dudettes... recruit them. (Think Che Guevara).

So let's see the buddies together...

'Tom and Che'

What would Che think?

Cat Hair Wars!

2007-12-11T15:41:00.000-10:00

Just finished a cat-sitting session over at my buddy, Skipper's pad.

I like Meow Meow, but cat hair gets all over me and my clothes. I end up using Skipper's sticky-tape rollers over my face before I go crazy.

Sure, I use the hair brush like a madman, but there has to be another way! Maybe some sort of vacuum chamber where the cat can go and all the hair gets sucked away....

'CatVac'

"What Would Jesus Buy?"

2007-12-09T08:00:00.000-10:00

San Francisco performance artist and anti-consumer activist, the amazing Reverend Billy, brings his secular crusade into movie theaters just in time for Christmas.

"What Would Jesus Buy?" is a feature documentary on the good reverend's cross-country street performances to encourage people to shop less at multi-national retailers (WalMart, Starbucks, Home Depot, etc.) and buy local. While incredibly funny and charismatic, I think his point is potent and well made. He's made me a believer. Amen, Reverend Billy!

Read The Onion interview here.

See the trailer here.

"Death of a Disco Grocery Bag" - the video!

2007-12-03T10:48:00.000-10:00

Love the new Blogger video service....

Now you too can watch my award-winning "Death of a Disco Grocery Bag"

'Death of a Disco Grocery Bag' by Bill Pocock

Mantra Generator

2007-12-02T19:21:00.001-10:00

So, I'm trying to do some meditation. But first I need a mantra.

I go to this on-line mantra generator which serves up some random mantras. My problem is...most of the mantras are so long it's hard for me to remember. Why struggle to remember when you're trying to relax?

For example...

OM Sri Ramaya Namah (Rama epitomizes the relationship between spouses)

Vyam Vashishthaya Namah (Maharishi Vashistha prayer whose Holy Spirit is Omnipresent)

OM Sri Hanumate Namah (Hanuman is the perfection of devotion)

How am I supposed to remember those? Whatever happened to "OOOOOMMMMMM"?

Straw Robot

2007-12-02T08:08:00.001-10:00

I embrace the fast forward assault on our minds to handle the Future Now! as much as the next guy.

But I find something deeply unsettling about this photo of a new Japanese robot offering a straw. Nothing so innocent seemed so ominous.

The eyes are sinister, but not for long....

Saatchi Doodle Dandies

2007-11-30T10:12:00.000-10:00

Charles Saatchi, art collector extraordinaire, has started a new on-line, virtual art gallery for the people. Yes, now artists can show their work - for free - to the world. Not the first time this sort of thing has been done, but always a good idea I think.

The amusing part is the 'Your Studio' section where every month an art critic judges a computer image which contestants make on-line.

Here's November's winner...

'Piss Talk' by Nelson MacLeod

The Art Critic...

Emma Gray

It amuses the hell out of me that Gray tosses in an art reference in the critique:

"[They]are either hosing down the lawn with suspiciously yellow water, or they are like taking a leak! Either way, they look like fuzzy-edged versions of art work by Palm Springs artist Brian Calvin."

I guess you gotta say something.... You can try your hand at the competition here.

Okay, here's mine...

'Dirty Mind' by Bill Pocock

Destroy All Watermelons!

2007-11-29T21:30:00.000-10:00

Was going through some old photos/video of my fabulous velomobile adventure and found this little gem. The ceremonial Judo-Chopping of the Watermelon at Mile Zero in Victoria, BC.

Avert your eyes, gentle ladies, lest you become enthralled by my raw animal prowesses!!!

Now, maybe, I can get on with my life....

Artslob in da Haus

2007-09-05T04:14:00.000-10:00

The artist formerly known as Major Dude

Wow it's good to be back in the urban insanity!

What do you do after crossing Canada in a velomobile?

You live in a shoe and paint abstract art.

Onwards!!!

ECONAUTS

2007-02-21T19:26:00.000-10:00

I think one of my projects is a 'Go' for this summer of '07. There's no way I can explain it all in one post.

I hope this Kids Can 2007 website will explain the basic idea.

As of this moment, I transfer all blogging activity to the Econaut Blog.

It should be quite an adventure.

They call me Major Dude.

The Legion of Frontiersmen

2007-02-17T08:26:00.000-10:00

Every now and then my limitless vanity (or need to connect with the past) has me do a web search on my surname - Pocock.

Captain Roger Pocock (1865 - 1941) is the most impressive distant distant relative I'll likely ever discover. It's hard to know where to begin with this Mountie who founded The Legion of Frontiersmen in 1904.

On Boxing Day, 1904, a letter appeared in major London newspapers calling for men who had experience of work or action abroad to come together for comradeship and service to the State in times of need. The scope was later extended to women as well and the Legion has served widely and well for over ninety years and included many who made the ultimate sacrifice.

To him "Civilization is a poor thing to one who has lived the spacious life of the West" (Rules of the Game). He was one of that band of Victorian gentlemen adventurers who helped secure the boundaries of the British Empire, but whose activities were little noted by others. Roger Pocock was different from the majority of other gentlemen adventurers because he was a thinker, a man who dreamed dreams, but whose dreams and whose attempts at their realization too often ruled his head and turned him into a Don Quixote, tilting at windmills.

The photo of Capt. Pocock (lower right) shows him sporting one of the early Frontiersman uniforms. I won't bore you with all the details, but I would like to quote a portion of the adventurer's travel history ( "The History of the Legion of Frontiersmen", Brigadier D. Mack, CD, CDM Commandant Legion of Frontiersmen, Canadian Division). I find it pretty daring stuff.

In 1889, he rode horseback from Fort McLeod in Alberta to Mexico City. This ride still stands as one of the most remarkable rides on record in that he covered some 3,600 miles, alone, at an average of 25 miles a day, and found his way across unmarked, difficult, and often hostile territory.

Starting out from Fort McLeod at the foot of the Rocky Mountains, on June 20, 1899, with three good saddle horses and six pack horses, his planned trip was to take him 3,600 miles through the United States, much of the country infested with hostile Indians, settlements very scarce and far between and
he had to rely on his own judgement for direction, and his skill as a hunter for food. The journey took 200 days, although he was actually travelling only 147. W.F. Cody, who old timers as children will remember by the more popular name of "Buffalo Bill", said he envied Pocock that ride.

Passing through Blood Indian Country, and on into Northern Montana, he came across about 1,400 Blackfoot Indians in a mile wide ring of teepees, celebrating their Annual Ceremonial Dances. His Indian "know how" got him safely through this. Beyond, for many days, he rode through country in which were many herds of wild horses. Stallions would repeatedly come charging at the lone rider in challenge. Then he came across some old settlements that had been abandoned because of mosquitoes. He rode through Yellowstone Park where bears cleaned up all his provisions except for some coffee and tobacco.

Fifty miles further he entered outlaw country, where. robbery and cattle stealing was still the order of the day. At Jackson's hole, an outlaw stronghold in the vast Grand Seton Mountains, he was continually watched by hard-faced outlaws who were suspicious that he was a Sheriff, which would have meant the end of his life. The country was full of game, which helped his provision problem considerably. For 700 miles he travelled through this outlaw country, where, after .proving his peaceful intentions, he was made welcome by the outlaws and criminals who had prices on their heads, and stayed with them in their camps and cabins. Some 400 desperadoes were still living from the proceeds of armed robberies in the district, including the Jackson's Hole and Hole in the Wall gangs from Wyoming, the Robbers Roost and Brown's Park gangs from Utah and others from Wildox, Arizona and the Texas-Mexico border.

“Where are you from,” one outlaw asked him?

“England,” he answered humbly.

“England? Is that a fort?”

The Lost Legion by Rudyard Kipling

There's a Legion that never was listed,
That carries no colours or crest,
But, split in a thousand detachments,
Is breaking the road for the rest.

Our fathers they left us their blessing --
They taught us,and groomed us,and crammed,
Bu we've shaken the Clubs and the Messes,
To go and find out and be damned
(Dear boys!)
To go and get shot be damned

So some of us chivy the slaver
And some of us chivy the black,
And some of us hunt on the Oil Coast,
And some on -- the Wallaby track
And some of us drift to Sarawak,
And some of us drift up the Fly,
And some share our tucker with tigers,
And some with the gentle Masai
(Dear boys!)
Take tea with the giddy Masai

We've painted The Islands vermilion,
We've pearled on half-shares in the Bay,
We've shouted on seven-ounce nuggets,
We've starved on a Seedeeboy's pay,
We've laughed at the world as we found it --
Its women and cities and men,
>From Sayyid Burgash in a tantrum,
To the smoke-reddened eyes of Lobon
(Dear boy's!)
We've a little account with Lobon

The ends of the earth were our portion.
The ocean at large was our share,
There was never a skirmish to windward
But the Leaderless Legion was there,
Yes,somehow and somewhere and always,
We were first when the trouble began,
>From a lottery-row in Manila,
To an I.D.B race on the Pan,
(Dear boy's!)
With the Mounted Police on the Pan

We preach in advance of the Army
We skirmish ahead of the Church,
With never a gunboat to help us
When we're scuppered and left in the lurch,
But we know as the cartridges finish
And we're filed on our last little shelves
That the Legion that never was 'listed,
Will send us as good as ourselves
(Good men!)
Five hundred as good as ourselves,

Then a health (we drink it in whispers)
To our wholly unauthorized horde --
To the line of our dusty foreloopers,
The Gentlemen Rovers abroad --
Yes, a health to ourselves ere we scatter
For the steamer won't wait for the train,
And the Legion that never was 'listed
Goes back into quarters again!
'Regards!
Goes back under canvas again
Hurrah!
The swag and the billy again
Hurrah!
The trail and packhorse again
Salute!
The trek and the lager again

Carpet Pies

2007-02-12T16:49:00.000-10:00

I called a hobbyist supply store today and asked, "Do you sell carbon fibre tubes?"

The elderly man at the store replied, "Carpet pies?".

'Carpet Pie' by Bill Pocock, 2007

Shifty Bastards

2007-02-11T17:37:00.000-10:00

Y'know, there's so many creative projects I've poured myself into, worked on which will never see the light of day.

And all that's left is a blog post and a graphic...

And...and....that's it.

*********************************

Okay, Cine, here's an excerpt of the pitch Skipper and I wrote up a couple years ago:

‘Shifty Bastards’ is a half-hour situation comedy series. The show revolves around the highs and lows of a right wing, populist, playboy westerner newly elected Prime Minister of Canada.

The PM mixes with the grey-suit wearing civil servants who constantly try to manipulate him or do damage control (knowing a good puppet when they see one - "Just keep him in booze and women, and we can have our way"). Our hero doesn’t know when it's all going end, but PM and wife are loving every minute of it in a chaotic sort of way.

The Prime Minister, Robert Lapeer, is a charismatic former premier of a western Canadian province. He’s a guy’s guy with flashy white movie star teeth that's a million bucks with more luck than brains, more American than Canadian, who loves to party, slap backs, date show girls on the sly. With big business connections in Ontario, he’s the great white puppet leader hope of a conservative grassroots movement that suffers from too much earnest substance and not enough shallow, vote-getting style.

There's more, but it's a bit absurd to display the outline of a 1/2 hour comedy show idea that went nowhere. Basically 'Yes, Prime Minister' meets 'Married With Children'. We actually did do a couple pitch meetings to programming types who seemed like they'd never heard a show pitch before. Brain-dead idiots. The PM character was loosely based on an old British Columbia premier, Bill Vander Zalm.

It was totally insane. Good insane.

Money

2007-02-10T13:31:00.000-10:00

The ultimate accessory.

Elvis Sandwich

2007-02-06T13:31:00.000-10:00

Today I made my first Elvis Sandwich - fried peanut butter and banana. I've read that Elvis liked to eat up to 12 of these babies in a sitting. Add some mashed potatoes on the side and it's quite an achievement.

So, the photos show how it went down. It's a good sandwich! I'd recommend maybe just 1/2 a banana instead of a full mashed banana. A full banana gets a bit sloppy.

I dunno about 12, but one is not enough. Thanks, King.

Buckets

2007-02-05T17:54:00.000-10:00

Winter Surfin' - EEErie

2007-02-04T07:34:00.000-10:00

Thanks to soul budder blogger, Pushing Tide, for posting some northern surf photos from Lake Erie.

"Mmm...cold beer"

Via Romana - The Roman Way

2007-02-04T06:13:00.000-10:00

In a time of much moral relativism, I like to consider some notions of virtue as thought by the ancients. Below is a list of virtues both public and personal which guided the citizens (or slaves) of ancient Rome. (Source Birth of Western Civilization James Laughlin 1986)

PERSONAL VIRTUES

Auctoritas: "Spiritual Authority" The sense of one's social standing, built up through experience, Pietas, and Industria.

Comitas: "Humor" Ease of manner, courtesy, openness, and friendliness.

Clementia: "Mercy" Mildness and gentleness.

Dignitas: "Dignity" A sense of self-worth, personal pride.

Firmitas: "Tenacity" Strength of mind, the ability to stick to one's purpose.

Frugalitas: "Frugalness" Economy and simplicity of style, without being miserly.

Gravitas: "Gravity" A sense of the importance of the matter at hand, responsibility and earnestness.

Honestas: "Respectability" The image that one presents as a respectable member of society.

Humanitas: "Humanity" Refinement, civilization, learning, and being cultured.

Industria: "Industriousness" Hard work.

Pietas: "Dutifulness" More than religious piety; a respect for the natural order socially, politically, and religiously. Includes the ideas of patriotism and devotion to others.

Prudentia: "Prudence" Foresight, wisdom, and personal discretion.

Salubritas: "Wholesomeness" Health and cleanliness.

Severitas: "Sternness" Gravity, self-control.

Veritas: "Truthfulness" Honesty in dealing with others.

PUBLIC VIRTUES

Abundantia: "Abundance, Plenty" The ideal of there being enough food and prosperity for all segments of society.

Aequitas: "Equity" Fair dealing both within government and among the people.

Bonus Eventus: "Good fortune" Remembrance of important positive events.

Clementia: "Clemency" Mercy, shown to other nations.

Concordia: "Concord" Harmony among the Roman people, and also between Rome and other nations.

Felicitas: "Happiness, prosperity" A celebration of the best aspects of Roman society.

Fides: "Confidence" Good faith in all commercial and governmental dealings.

Fortuna: "Fortune" An acknowledgment of positive events.

Genius: "Spirit of Rome" Acknowledgment of the combined spirit of Rome, and its people.

Hilaritas: "Mirth, rejoicing" An expression of happy times.

Justica: "Justice" As expressed by sensible laws and governance.

Laetitia: "Joy, Gladness" The celebration of thanksgiving, often of the resolution of crisis.

Liberalitas: "Liberality" Generous giving.

Libertas: "Freedom" A Virtue which has been subsequently aspired to by all cultures.

Nobilitas: "Nobility" Noble action within the public sphere.

Ops: "Wealth" Acknowledgment of the prosperity of the Roman world.

Patientia: "Endurance, Patience" The ability to weather storms and crisis.

Pax: "Peace" A celebration of peace among society and between nations.

Pietas: "Piety, Dutifulness" People paying honor to the gods.

Providentia: "Providence, Forethought" The ability of Roman society to survive trials and manifest a greater destiny.

Pudicita: "Modesty, Chastity." A public expression which belies the accusation of "moral corruptness" in ancient Rome.

Salus: "Safety" Concern for public health and welfare.

Securitas: "Confidence, Security" Brought by peace and efficient governance.

Spes: "Hope" Especially during times of difficulty.

Uberitas: "Fertility" Particularly concerning agriculture.

Virtus: "Courage" Especially of leaders within society and government.

GC 070201

2007-02-03T12:47:00.001-10:00

The new Toronto Art Openings are up and ready to eat at Gallery Crawl

Come and get it while it's hot!

2007 Dude

2007-01-28T13:31:00.000-10:00

Kinda hope I end up like buddy.

Dundas Conservation Area

2007-01-08T13:35:00.000-10:00

Visited the Dundas, Ontario Conservation Area this Sunday with some friends. Nice to get out of the city and be in nature again.

Here's a few photos taken along the trail.

More Tuco!!!

2006-12-31T03:49:00.000-10:00

By popular demand, here' s Tuco sampler!

Tuco, The Cat

2006-12-30T19:26:00.000-10:00

Once Upon a Time I cat sat for 6 months. A gravy job, let me tell you. I sketched a loosey-goosey book of line drawings of Tuco, the cat. Cats are great subjects to draw. And Tuco's a fun cat, fab-u-lous cat.

The last few days I've scanned photocopies of the original. Bless Photoshop for the ability to clean up a lot of dirt, etc from the page. Still at 200+ pages, it's quite the cleanup job. I do about 10 pages/hour.

Whatever happens to the final PDF document, it's nice to have a digital record as paper gets lost and damaged - as I've already found.

Baker's Back!

2006-12-28T07:50:00.000-10:00

And he's better than ever!

Update thanks to Carolyn from across the pond - BT has put Baker back in the game, using his voice as their text-messaging identity.

Tom Baker Says:

Tom Baker's text voice is back!! BT launched Text Aid today to raise at least £100 000 for Shelter.

2p from each text message sent to or from a BT landline between now and 8th January 2007 will go to the charity.

Now for the really exciting news... I just got back from London, where I've been promoting the new Text Aid Bakaraoke single alongside Maggot and P Xain from Goldie Lookin Chain!

BT commissioned me to produce the song, which is a Bakaraoke cover of The Kinks' song You Really Got Me.

The track will be officially released on 18th December, but you can listen to a preview and pre-order it from bt.com/textaid now. It's only 79p and all BT's proceeds go straight to Shelter. Let's make Tom the Christmas number 1!

Good Show! Jolly good show!

Tom Baker Says...

2006-12-27T16:15:00.000-10:00

If you are a fanatic of the vintage Doctor Who TV series like I am, you'll agree that Tom Baker (third regeneration) was the greatest ever. I'm prepared to debate the topic.

Bill

Anyhoo, the photo shown was a happy surprise as it came out of the photobooth. The hair, scarf, the nose - I've become the character. Amazing what hours of posing in front of a mirror with campy expressions can do.

Tom

A few years back British Telecom (BT) hired Tom Baker to basically read the dictionary aloud and record the audio. His voice is absolutely fabulous. So, BT cut the audio into individual words in order that BT customers could have Baker say whatever sentences they like. A fan set up a website, Tom Baker Says, for us to listen to some of the choice lines. The 'Full Metal Jacket' quotes in the movie section are my fave.

It took Baker 11 days to read the dictionary words aloud. I'd actually pay money to have an audio-dictionary by Tom Baker. Sadly BT's Baker message service got canned. You can also hear Baker's hilarious lines as the narrator of the British TV show 'Little Britain'.

Easy Flyer

2006-12-27T15:29:00.000-10:00

I've done some clay modeling the last couple of days, trying to find an aerodynamic form. I came up with this one, below.

As the form emerged I realized that I'd seen it before, thousands of times. It's amazing the things you can come up with, letting your hands go.

Ever watch a small bird fly? When the bird wants to 'take it easy' it'll flap wings a bunch of times then tuck the wings in tight to glide through the air. This is the form in clay.

I idolize the Inuit soapstone carvers and their connection with wildlife through generations of sculpture. This is the as close as I've come - by accident.

Yea!

Godfather of Soul, RIP

2006-12-25T07:40:00.000-10:00

Thanks, JB.

Making Things

2006-12-23T13:07:00.000-10:00

Having original thoughts, making things and putting them out there into the world for consideration is a tough gig. It can be very disheartening at times with a seemingly endless stream of efforts to no effect.

I'm working on a couple of big projects (taking all of my time) right now but can't bring myself to discuss them. Too many times I've mentioned something I'm giving all my heart to only for it to come to nothing. People for years will ask after that 'great project' and I'm forced to say it's come to nothing. Again and again. You get to the point where you don't say say anything at all.

What's point of saying, "Hell is other people?"

I'm going for a walk. I may be some time.

The Nonist

2006-12-19T16:17:00.000-10:00

I'm adding a new blog to the roll - The Nonist.

Not sure how I first came across this...pro. Damn good. Art Slob plays a different game, but it doesn't stop some jealousy when looking at the style and content. The Nonist can really execute.

In my gallery crawl rounds, I've come to judge the quality of an art gallery by the state of the walls on which art hangs. In the same way, I consider blogs by way of the content field. Check out 'The Nonist'.

The Luckiest Man in the World

2006-12-17T17:35:00.000-10:00

'Luckiest Man in the World' Alexandra Hooper, 2006

A great old friend of mine took this photo and I had to laugh.

She says...

Hey, wanna see a pitchure of what I saw a few weeks ago at the Mississauga Salvation Army - I like to call it "The Luckiest Man in the World". Yessiree, true life comedy.

I've seen more than my share of doll art, but this one is by far the best. Thanks for sharing, Alexx!

Lynch: Inland Empire

2006-12-13T08:06:00.000-10:00

Those who know Art Slob know that Lynch has a pantheon crypt set aside for his final resting place. Until that glorious internment, we have the trailer for his latest ka-razy art flick coming out called 'Inland Empire'.

Thanks to Ms. X for passing the scoop along. Follow the link here to grab a snatch of Lynch's latest mad insane genius. Official INLAND EMPIRE website.

Plonk

2006-12-10T16:09:00.000-10:00

'Tower of Plonk'

Behold!

My slobby, blobby 'Tower of Plonk'. In an attempt to drink less wine, I reasoned if I bought a 4 litre box of red wine, I would have the occasional glass of wine with meals and random cheese sampling. It's nice not to go through the whole ceremony of uncorking just to get a glass. But, one does tend to lead to another at the moment.

The vacuum spigot keeps the wine fresh, sitting as it does on top of my fridge, and will theoretically be as good as new for months. Haven't been able to test the longevity claim quite yet.

Painting the box, and just replacing the internal bag of wine, gives the 'Tower of Plonk' a being's presence in my pad. Just hope I don't start talking to the thing. When the wine runs out I go in search of plonk like a caveman in search of extinguished fire.

Love Power

2006-12-05T14:44:00.001-10:00

I can't tell you how much I love this scene from Mel Brook's original, 'The Producers'.

The height of comedy, baby!

GC 061202

2006-12-03T11:25:00.000-10:00

This week's steamin' hot Toronto art is ready at Gallery Crawl.

2006-12-02T17:48:00.000-10:00

Anima: The Woman Within

2006-12-02T03:23:00.000-10:00

Had a Big Dream this morning. I take a Jungian psychology view of it.

At the end of my dream's unconscious vision my anima appeared in the form of a popular TV actress of whom I know next to nothing. Marcia Cross (at right) was the vessel for my understanding. Though a very beautiful vessel, I'll try to forget about her now. That's my first trial.

She was dressed in black with raven hair, appearing in the middle of a deserted city street at night. The headlights of my convertible illuminated the woman and I slowed before her. She approached and said two words. I won't say what they were. Pretty damn moving words - The Message. I began to sing and slowly drifted awake.

Jung says to take the entire dream very seriously. I do and I will. Fortunately, my anima appeared as the positive, helpful version for which I have my mother to thank.

Below is an excerpt [on positive anima function] from an essay, edited by Carl. G. Jung, written by his professional confidant and friend, M.-L. von Franz entitled, 'The Process of Individuation'....

The anima: the woman within

Difficult and subtle ethical problems are not invariably brought up by the appearance of the shadow itself. Often another 'inner figure' emerges. If the dreamer is a man, he will discover a female personification of his unconscious; and it will be a male figure in the case of a woman. Often this second symbolic figure turns up behind the shadow, bringing up new and different problems. Jung called its male and female forms 'animus' and anima'.

The anima is a personification of all feminine psychological tendencies in a man's psyche, such as vague feelings and moods, prophetic hunches, receptiveness to the irrational, capacity for personal love, feeling for nature, and - last but not least - his relation to the unconscious. It is no mere chance that in olden times priestesses (like the Greek Sibyl) were used to fathom the divine will and to make connection with the gods....

The anima is, for instance, responsible for the fact that a man is able to find the right marriage partner. Another function is at least equally important: Whenever a man's logical mind is incapable of discerning facts that are hidden in his unconscious, the anima helps him to dig them out. Even more vital is the role that the anima plays in putting a man's mind in tune with the right inner values and thereby opening the way into more profound inner depths. It is as if an inner 'radio' becomes tuned to a certain wave length that excludes irrelevancies but allows the voice of the Great Man to be heard. In establishing this inner 'radio' reception, the anima takes on the role of guide, or mediator, to the world within and to the Self. That is how she appears in the example of the initiations of shamans that I described earlier; this is the role of Beatrice in Dante's Paradisio, and also of the goddess Isis when she appeared in a dream to Apuleius, the famous author of The Golden Ass, in order to initiate him into a higher, more spiritual form of life....

But what does the role of the anima as guide to the inner world mean in practical terms? This positive function occurs when a man takes seriously the feelings, moods, expectations, and fantasies sent by his anima and when he fixes them in some form - for example, in writing, painting, sculpture, musical composition, or dancing. When he works at this patiently and slowly, other more deeply unconscious material wells up from the depths and connects with the earlier material. After a fantasy has been fixed in some specific form, it must be examined both intellectually and ethically, with an evaluating feeling reaction. And it is essential to regard it as being absolutely real; there must be no lurking doubt that this is "only a fantasy." If this is practiced with devotion over a long period, The process of individuation gradually becomes the single reality and can unfold in its true form.

Many examples from literature show the anima as a guide and mediator to the inner world: Francesco Colonna's Hypnerotomachia, Rider Haggard's She, or "The eternal feminine" in Goethe's Faust. In medieval mystical text, an anima figure explains her own nature as follows.

I am the flower of the field and the lily of the valleys. I am the mother of fair love and of fear and of knowledge and of holy hope...I am the mediator of the elements, making one to agree with another; that which is warm I make cold and the reverse, and that which is dry I make moist and the reverse, and that which is hard I soften...I am the law in the priest and the word in the prophet and the counsel in the wise. I will kill and I will make to live and there is none that can deliver out of my hand.

In the Middle Ages there took place a perceptible spiritual differentiation in religious, poetical, and other cultural matters; and the fantasy world of the unconscious was recognized more clearly than before. During this period, the knightly cult of the lady signified an attempt to differentiate the feminine side of man's nature in regard to the outer woman as well as in relation to the inner world.

The lady to whose service the knight pledged himself, and for whom he performed his heroic deeds, was naturally a personification of the anima. The name of the carrier of the Grail, in Wolfum von Eschenbach's version of the legend, is especially significant: Conduir-amour ("guide in love matters"). She taught the hero to differentiate both his feelings and his behavior toward women. Later, however, this individual and personal effort of developing the relationship with the anima was abandoned when her sublime aspect fused with the figure of the Virgin, who then became the object of boundless devotion and praise. When the anima, as Virgin, was conceived as being all-positive, her negative aspects found expression in the belief in witches.

In China the figure parallel to that of Mary is the goddess Kwan-Yin. A more popular Chinese anima-figure is the "Lady of the Moon", who bestows the gift of poetry or music on her favorites and can even give them immortality. In India the same archetype is represented by Shakti, Parvati, Rati, and many others; among the Moslems she is chiefly Fatima, the daughter of Mohammed.

Worship of the anima as an officially recognized figure brings the serious disadvantage that she loses her individual aspects. On the other hand, if she is regarded as an exclusively personal being, there is the danger that, if she is projected into the outer world, it is only there that she can be found. This latter state of affairs can create endless trouble, because man becomes either the victim of his erotic fantasies or compulsively dependent on one actual woman.

Only the painful (but essentially simple) decision to take one's fantasies and feelings seriously can at this stage prevent a complete stagnation of the inner process of individuation, because only in this way can a man discover what this figure means as an inner reality. Thus the anima becomes again what she originally was - the "woman within" who conveys vital messages to the Self.

....

Gallery Crawl is Alive!

2006-12-01T12:44:00.000-10:00

Technical problems have been solved for Toronto's virtual art gallery!

Come see all the new art on show at Gallery Crawl.

Young Pups

2006-11-30T18:20:00.000-10:00

60's & 70's art critic god, Clement Greenberg, once said there are no art prodigies. The more art shows I see of young pups coming out of art school and thrust into the spotlight with derivative New York slop, the more I believe it.

Kids lucky enough to get on the art treadmill out of college rarely have the benefit of developing a singular vision over the decades through trial and error - to find themselves. There seems to be a sort of Hollywood pump-and-dump, winners and losers way prevailing that does not permit young artists to fully flower.

The CV and sales history becomes the all for contemporary artists who hope to make a career in art. You've got a better chance of being trampled by wild elephants on Feb. 29 than making it as an artist over 40.

Bullshit, Etc.

2006-11-30T17:50:00.000-10:00

I was reading some artist statements recently and was reminded of a wonderful little book, 'On Bullshit', by retired Princeton moral philosopher, Harry G. Frankfurt.

I'm so grateful to Frankfurt for clearly defining this particular malady of our times.

"It is just this lack of connection to a concern with truth—this indifference to how things really are—that I regard as the essence of bullshit."

Remember Brick's complaint to Big Daddy in 'Cat on a Hot Tin Roof'? Brick's pa demands to know why his son drinks so much. "Mendacity", says Brick, "liars and lying". Big Daddy says he has to deal with liars all day long - that's life. Brick doesn't choose life until he sees Big Daddy dying. I think we're much beyond lying now.

The cool move, the coping way of too many people sits in the warm bath of indifference to the truth value of what they express to others and, maybe, themselves. It's easier to just bullshit than make the effort to construct a verifiable reality.

Or maybe it's some kinda dissociation...

Dissociation is a mental process, which produces a lack of connection in a person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of identity. During the period of time when a person is dissociating, certain information is not associated with other information as it normally would be.

Bullshit, dissociation, whatever. It's destroying us.

He's Got Style

2006-11-28T14:25:00.000-10:00

Whatever you want to say about the Libyan strong man, Col. Muammar Gaddafi has got some style on him.

BBC Online reports on the colonel's arrival in Nigeria:

Nigerian officials say Col Gaddafi was accompanied by more than 200 heavily armed Libyan bodyguards.
When security officers refused to allow them to keep their weapons, an argument ensued.... [The] Libyan leader angrily set off on foot, intending to walk some 40km (25 miles) to the capital, before he was persuaded to return to the airport lounge.

The Nigerian Prez just happened to be at the airport and took over negotiations. Things were resolved and the colonel took mobiles to the capital after all. But can you blame the strong man for wanting his trained killer female bodyguards loaded to the teeth in sketchy Nigeria? Who wants some local warlord to put the drop on you and all you've got is your dick in your hand?

Gaffy should've walked to the capital for full style points, in my opinion. I know the Prez talked you down, baby, but it would have been worthy of sculpture, walking on foot to the capital with your guards in tow. Set up tents midway, post guards and feast! C'mon, Colonel. Don't waste a grand gesture of defiance!

GC Tech

2006-11-27T13:25:00.000-10:00

Apologies for the delay of this week's Gallery Crawl art openings. We're working hard to overcome some technical difficulties.

Stay tuned....

Picasso Speaks

2006-11-24T20:23:00.000-10:00

Picasso by Karsh

"I who have been involved with all styles of painting can assure you that the only things that fluctuate are the waves of fashion which carry the snobs and speculators; the number of true connoisseurs remains more or less the same. "

- Pablo Picasso

Little Buddy

2006-11-24T13:51:00.000-10:00

'Little Buddy', Graham Clegg, 1998

Just so everybody knows I'm no slouch in the cigar smoking department, here's a photo of me during that world famous salmon fishing trip with Skipper.

More laughy-boy second banana than hero, I'm afraid, Kat. But I'm the best goddamn second banana in the business!

Skipper

2006-11-23T10:16:00.000-10:00

'Skipper', Bill Pocock, 1998

Parkdale Construction

2006-11-23T07:48:00.000-10:00

Some photos I took wandering around.

High + Low

2006-11-21T20:07:00.000-10:00

At last you are tired of this ancient world
O shepherdess Eiffel Tower, the flock of bridges
bleats this morning
You're fed up with living in Greek and Roman
antiquity . . .
You read handbills, catalogs, advertisements that
sing aloud
Here's your morning's poetry, and for prose there
are the newspapers,
Dime detective novels packed with adventures,
Biographies of big shots, a thousand different
titles,
Lettering on billboards and on walls,
Doorplates and posters squawk like parrots . . .

- 'Zone' by Guillaume Apollinaire

Punk Chick

2006-11-16T09:13:00.000-10:00

Gallery Crawl Update

2006-11-12T17:59:00.000-10:00

I'm taking a couple weeks off for a little R&R. Two weeks on leave in Tokyo should do the trick. Until then, I invite you to enjoy 'Recent Openings' in Toronto art galleries.

2006-11-11T22:34:00.000-10:00

Art Gallery Catering

2006-11-11T18:04:00.000-10:00

My trusted agent tells me about a film set caterer who wants to shift her business into high-end art gallery receptions and corporate catering. Her story, and her connections, were good enough for a half-hour TV show. Reminds me of a favourite cartoon called, 'Business Television' showing a TV camera pointed at a cat in a litter box.

Catering at gallery openings may seem glamorous for people who don't generally go to gallery openings. A couple plates of decent tapas will do. I'm trying to diet here! Bet the caterer dangles the bright and shiny gallery gigs to impress knuckle-dragging corporate function buyers. What, does the woman plan to put on a banquet?

Photo, Julia Walther

Good wine in glass (or crystal) is the thing.

Give them halfway decent wine (they don't want to spit out) and keep the art targets in the gallery long enough to get elevated to the stars on alcohol so they'll impress their date or the sexy gallery girl by dropping some crazy-cash on a painting. Buying art is about sex and status. That or the wife decides which piece of art her friends won't ridicule.

Gallery owners don't want potential buyers eating because it'll soak up the booze and keep people sluggish and sober. Maybe some cheese and the tiniest little wafers. Very, very good cheese. And foot massages....

'Ode to an Art Gallery Caterer'
Dionysus, 2006

O!
Just drink,
Bitch!

The Portrait as Individual in Society

2006-11-11T07:44:00.000-10:00

Erasmus of Rotterdam by Albrecht Durer, 1526

Herbert Burda, art historian and German media mogul, has a super article, 'How People See Themselves', tracing the history of portraiture through a somewhat anthropological lens.

A quote:

Whoever managed to climb the social ladder automatically won the right, so to speak, to have their own portrait painted, which in earlier times had been the preserve of the saints. Using a few examples, I would now like to show how those classes which were climbing the social ladder at that time used the portrait to give visibility to their claim to power and status, how the painted portrait lost this function following the invention of photography and how the portrait, as a result of the opening up of the media to anyone wanting to get themselves seen, has been superseded by other forms of expression.

Sure, the portrait I wish to present to the world, Art Slob, consists of tossing random cultural fragments at the computer screen. That or cheesy photos like the one below.

Bill Pocock by James Naylor, 2005

Remembrance Day

2006-11-11T06:56:00.000-10:00

A selection of photos from Canadian war efforts in remembrance. [click on images for source].

The Boer War, South Africa.

Vimy Ridge, France, World War I

D-Day Landing on Juno Beach, France, World War II

A soldier returns from patrol, Korean War.

Afghanistan, 2006

Goth Boots

2006-11-10T20:23:00.000-10:00

At the risk of sounding super square - what gives with those elevator goth boots?

Have you seen those crazee kids trying to ambulate on the monster foam foot pads? We're approaching 16th Century Venetian chopine territory here.

A University of Toronto webpage talks about history's extreme foot fetish wear:

Exceptionally wealthy noble women in Venice demonstrated their superiority in a material way by wearing on their bodies extravagant items, including very tall chopines. The more restrictive to movement the platforms were, the higher the status of the woman (just like the Chinese believed in relation to the tiniest, thus most prized, feet).

Wiki tells me Goth is more about aesthetics than ethics or politics. Okay, so maybe it's a little sexy but let's be practical for a moment, kids. How fast can you run away from that gang of skinheads? Venice, gateway to the orient, was different times, babe.

Mang

2006-11-10T16:40:00.000-10:00

Mang hexagram.

Once in a while I'll consult the I Ching. Mang was the reply.

About.com's alt-religion section has this on Mang [the 'NINE' or 'six' referred to are the six horizontal sections of the I Ching symbol, interpreted from bottom to top]:

............................................................

Mang (indicates that in the case which it presupposes) there will be progress and success. I do not (go and) seek the youthful and inexperienced, but he comes and seeks me. When he shows (the sincerity that marks) the first recourse to divination, I instruct him. If he apply a second and third time, that is troublesome; and I do not instruct the troublesome. There will be advantage in being firm and correct.

1. The first six, divided, (has respect to) the dispelling of ignorance. It will beadvantageous to use punishment (for that purpose), and to remove the shackles (from the mind). But going on in that way (of punishment) will give occasion for regret.

2. The second NINE, undivided, (shows its subject) exercising forbearance with the ignorant, in which there will be good fortune; and admitting (even the goodness of women, which will also be fortunate. (He may be described also as) a son able to (sustain the burden of) his family.

3. The third six, divided, (seems to say) that one should not marry a woman whose emblem it might be, for that, when she sees a man of wealth, she will not keep her person from him, and in no wise will advantage come from her.

4. The fourth six, divided, (shows its subject as io bound in chains of ignorance. There will be occasion for regret.

5. The fifth six, divided, shows its subject as a simple lad without experience. There will be good fortune.

6. In the topmost NINE, undivided, we see one smiting the ignorant (youth). But no advantage will come from doing him an injury. Advantage would come from warding off injury from him.

..........................................

I'll buy that.

Office Bull

2006-11-10T14:39:00.000-10:00

More laughs.

I got this e-mail from Ripper.

***
[This] really happened to our buddy martin... un-be-frickin-lievable... bet you can make a blog out of that somehow. Martin Lennox, no I don't suppose you have met him. Maybe at Briar's new year party, I can't recall.

[Girlfriend and I] am going to Martin's wedding tomorrow...

Find out what happened HERE.

Ripper's girlfriend had this to say:

Yesterday, a close friend of mine (an engineer) was preparing to ship a $400,000 piece of equipment to the buyer after dedicating eight months (including countless hours of overtime) into research and development.

Snakes In Mouth

2006-11-09T17:45:00.000-10:00

BBC On-line's got another great comedy article on this year's Guinness Record Day attempts.

What's not to like about Jackie Bibby's new record of holding ten live rattlesnakes in his mouth?

Extra points for tipping your hat, Jackie.